Meditation Mt 18, 21-35

Stand in God’s presence. God is present here and now, looking upon you with love.

Ask for the Grace: I will beg God our Lord that all my intentions and actions may be directed purely to the praise and service of His Divine Majesty

Fixing a place, a picture for meditation: See Jesus among people and disciples. Maybe you are there too. Look at everyone gathered. Note how Peter approaches Jesus and asks a question about forgiveness. Listen to Jesus’ answer and his story of a servant, whom the king forgave the loan, but the same servant could not give the debt to another servant. How does Peter react, other listeners to these words? How do you react?

Ask for the fruit of meditation: for a grace and thirst of forgiving others and yourself 

1. … how often must I forgive…

a. To forgive (as given in the New Testament Dictionary of Xavier Leon -Dufour SJ) means to let go free, restore the proper relationship between two beings, broken by the sense of offense. It can also be translated as separating the act from the person who hurt us, and thus saving her dignity. However, forgiveness is not the same as forgetting, because it is difficult to erase the injuries from our memory. Rather, it is to find an understanding of why something happened, why I was hurt by a word, act … It means to look whether I did not contribute myself, did not provoke such behavior of another person. Forgiveness is not easy, it is more than our act of will, it also involves our imagination, intelligence, sensitivity, faith and heart. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean, that we still have to be in a good relationship with another person, sometimes it leads to breaking relationships or building it again.What is your understanding of forgiveness?

b. When we get hurt, we may want revenge. This is a normal reaction. The only question is, what do we do with this desire for revenge? If we follow it and start to slander the other person, spread all the bad stories about that person around, we can’t say we are better than the person? It doesn’t mean, that we shouldn’t talk about it with our trusted person. More – it is necessary, because we need someone, who help us objectify the situation. It may be worth taking the tension, give time to survive the loss, hurt.Remember the situation, where you have been hurt. Look at your behavior, you may have a desire for revenge. What did your forgiveness process look like?

2. Forgive yourself

a. The commandment of love says: love your neighbor as yourself. With forgiveness is the same: first we have to learn to forgive ourselves to be able to forgive the other person. Among people, you can meet two extreme approaches:
– constant, permanent blaming and suffering, despite the sacrament of reconciliation. It’s a bit of putting a loop on yourself that moves away from Life.

– justify – which is not forgiveness but it can lead to the appearance of wounds with double strength.

I encourage you to face the truth of yourself today. See what harm you did to yourself, others and what you have suffered. What do you find things, spaces, events that you do not accept, do not like or are ashamed of. Think about why you dislike them? What do they teach you? What goods can you draw from them for the future? Look at yourself and those from whom you have suffered: what is positive you have in yourself and what they have.

b. Jesus forgives you every day. Love is forgiving, releasing. Look at yourself with this Love and forgive yourself. If that is difficult, ask Jesus to help you accept these difficult things, so that you can forgive yourself. This will lead you to freedom and create another space in you, that God’s Love will be able to fulfill.

Meditation: St Ignatius encourages in The Spiritual Exercises No. 2 … Because not so much knowledge, but internal feeling and the taste of things please and saturate the soul, that is, we stay where we feel interior movement … and nervously do not try to go on.
The final conversation: Spend a little time at the end, being with God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit….as you would with a good friend: sometimes talking, sometimes listening, sometimes being together in silence. Speak to God about your feelings. Remember that times when ‘nothing is happening’ can also be significant. When you’re ready, end your prayer by saying thank you or using words that are familiar,such as the Lord’s Prayer (Our Father)–whichever feels right and comfortable. (The Spiritual Exercises No.54)